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How to deal with backstabbing coworkers

How to deal with backstabbing coworkers

Everybody would like to have a dream team at work where cooperation is the fundamental principle; however, only some are lucky. Unfortunately, many people face hypocrites, enviers, and even those who feel satisfaction when others experience problems or mishaps. The phenomenon has a name – schadenfreude. It may sound ominous, but backstabbing co-workers are a brutal reality with which people must deal daily.

In case you’ve noticed the slightest sign of backstabbing, you should never remain silent and turn a blind eye to it. You have the right to work in a healthy environment, and you may be the one who will contribute to creating it. Keep reading our article to learn more about how to deal with backstabbing coworkers, detect and react to their inappropriate behavior, and handle them professionally.

Backstabbing coworkers: The Two-Faced Foes

Backstabbers are real villains, whose kindness serves just as disingenuous window-dressing for crude meanness and unscrupulousness. They are often parasites who either feed their sick ego or aim to move up the career ladder on account of others. There are several types of backstabbers to know about:

  • Belittlers tend to generate demeaning comments and humbling remarks to seem better on the background of others;
  • Credit thieves steal ideas and receive honors afterward;
  • Finger pointers always find a co-worker to blame in case of a failure;
  • Rumor mongers spread gossip to affect their colleagues’ reputations;
  • Scorched-earth managers undermine talented colleagues due to competition fear.

Whatever the malicious action is, this is extremely unethical and even indecent; it can lead to severe implications for the victim. Firstly, it’s the element of surprise – once a trusted friend has turned into a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Such an incident may significantly undermine one’s confidence and cause trust issues in the future. Second, if backstabbing coworkers sound plausible, their victim’s reputation may also be damaged. Finally, the reaction is unpredictable and may result in a merciless war at work, thus turning into a real hotbed for office gossip, bias, dirty looks, and even exclusion. If you’ve fallen victim to backstabbing, the best thing you can do is, first and foremost, to remain calm. Try to win the backing of supportive co-workers to strengthen your position and ensure job security.

Reasons for backstabbing behavior in the workplace

You have nice and friendly communication with somebody, and suddenly boom! They’ve sabotaged you out of the blue; why would they do that?

  • Most likely, they experience severe self-esteem issues and try to eliminate somehow the feeling of insignificance and worthlessness on account of others. These are usually toxic people who pretend to be your friends but don’t feel squeamish about making displeasing remarks in front of the boss; they may also be using gaslighting techniques afterward to manipulate you into thinking “they’re just being honest and straightforward with the boss.”
  • The same story is with spreading gossip and sharing someone’s confidential information. By doing so, backstabbers simply concentrate on their colleagues’ problems, distracting their attention from their flaws or failures. Finding the splinter in someone’s eye is way easier than getting the log out of your own.
  • Another reason for backstabbing may be someone’s immaturity and, as a result, inability to shoulder responsibility and be accountable for their mistakes. Why not blame a colleague and get away with it?
  • The last and worst examples are those who steal other people’s ideas and present them as their own. Have you shared your ideas with a friendly colleague without a second thought and then heard them suggested at the meeting by someone else? Congratulations, your close colleague is a two-faced stabber.

Identifying Backstabbing Coworkers

Don’t rush into labeling your colleague as a backstabber; they may just have made a mistake or acted mindlessly. However, a real red flag can be if you track some kind of consistency in their actions. So, to ensure your colleague is plotting against you, follow our recommendations below.

Signs of backstabbing colleagues

Backstabbing coworkers are visible from afar if you’re aware of the surefire signs they typically give. To track those, you should observe their behavior with others and not make conclusions based on only how they treat you. It may just be a mask to be able to establish an atmosphere of trustworthiness between you two and deflect any kind of suspicion. So, consider the following streaks when checking your colleague on being a backstabber:

  1. If they are dishonest with anybody. Today it’s another person, but tomorrow you can find yourself in their shoes.
  2. If they are envious. SucBackstabbing coworkers are visible from afar if you’re aware of the surefire signs they typically give. To track those, you should observe their behavior with others and not make conclusions based on only how they treat you. It may just be a mask to establish an atmosphere of trustworthiness between you two and deflect any suspicion. So, consider the following streaks when checking your colleague on being a backstabber:
    1. If they are dishonest with anybody. Today it’s another person, but you can find yourself in their shoes tomorrow.
    2. If they are envious. Such people will always find anything to judge others for.
    3. If they’re prone to gossiping. People with big mouths don’t bother who to gossip about. The main thing is a juicy secret.
    4. If they are prone to undermining. This is a clear sign that a person has self-esteem issues and chooses the easiest way to somehow silence the inner critic.
    5. If they’re ready to go over the heads. Someday, you may appear on their way, and their unscrupulousness may befall you.
    6. If they’re often too friendly and sweet-talk.
    7. And any other disrespectful behavior, including poking fun, microaggression, and even discrimination in disguise.

Understanding their motives

To be able to thwart their vicious plans, you have to understand what their genuine aim is. Often, it’s a means to get ahead at work. In this case, try to outrun them by establishing trustworthy relationships with other colleagues and your management. Try to win your position and build a strong reputation that cheap provocations cannot affect. Another common reason for backstabbing is inner conflicts. Such people are highly likely to have traumas and choose the easiest way to cope with them – draw their attention to other people’s flaws. If this is your case, find out what you can do below.

Establishing boundaries with them

When dealing with toxic people, either your family, friends, or co-workers, establishing boundaries will be crucial. Your mental health should be your priority, not vice versa. It’s a therapist or at least an HR representative who has to be getting to grips with their issues. Your task is to stay calm and let them realize it.

Strategies for Handling Backstabbing Coworkers

Having demonstrated that you stand your ground and aren’t going to succumb to provocations, see what happens next. If the situation escalates anyway, consider asking for a personal meeting with your HR, manager, and the hero of the occasion. Stay calm, and don’t shower them with your accusations from the doorway. The more gracefully you handle the situation, the more chances you have to win your boss’ and HR’s support.

Keeping a positive attitude

Even though backstabbing coworkers try to affect you, it’s actually them who have real issues. Try to concentrate on positive people and generate positive vibes around yourself – negativity will have no other choice but vanish with time.

Refusing to be drawn into gossip

The less you react to provocation, the less power gossip has over you. If you ask the “author” to provide further details or proof, in most cases, they will just lay an egg. If people see that you don’t get hurt by gossip, they will likely forget about it the next day.

Avoiding negative people

It will definitely be harder to do if negative people are your co-workers; however, there are no hopeless situations. If you have a good rapport with your boss, discuss it face-to-face with them and come up with a solution. It could be a transfer to another team, project, or department or an opportunity to remotely work some days during the week.

Documenting their behavior

You should be really careful will this not to violate the rules and human rights of backstabbing employees even though they’ve already violated yours. Check if you can somehow document their behavior and present it as evidence during the “hearing.”

Asking for help and advice from colleagues, supervisors, or the human resources department

The more transparent your reaction is, the more chances you have to get support from your surrounding. Most people feel what kind of intentions you have on your mind. Be bold, speak up, and let everybody know the real root of the problem.

Maintaining a neutral attitude in the workplace

Having close friends at your workplace is cool, but you should consider distinguishing between work and personal matters. Therefore, you eliminate the chance of somebody using your personal information against you.

Conclusion

Facing a backstabber at work is not a bed of roses for sure. However, there is no room for panicking and desperation. If you’ve fallen victim to a stabber, remember that the truth is on your side. Start with talking to this person directly to sort it out. If it makes no sense, seek support from positive coworkers and your management. The worst-case scenario that might take place is that the villain wins; however, it’s not your defeat. It might be the sign to move on and land a new position, right?

Date: 17 March 2023
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