Freelance Copywriter

If you had to Google him, no hard feelings. To women over sixty who have quietly stopped believing a man will ever cross a room for them again.

A Facebook ad. A retired detective telling you about the night he left his dinner on the table and walked past a forty year old in a red dress to reach a woman of seventy one in a plain sweater.

Every emotional beat traces back to a row in a customer survey. We have 333 of them with twelve free text fields each, we've read all of them twice, and the copy is built out of her sentences instead of ours.

Women read it for forty minutes in the feed.

That's the floor. Read voice of customer until you can hear her. Survey exports, ad comments, refund reasons, Reddit threads at midnight. Write long form ads, VSL scripts and quiz funnels for a woman who's 60 to 79, on her phone, at eleven at night, who has been ignored by every brand on earth.

• Work to written laws. New laws get added when a test earns one, not when someone has a feeling.
• Ship a change ledger with every draft. Live in the numbers. You write "elevate," "unlock," "game changer" or "journey" and your soul doesn't leave your body reading that back.
• You'd be insulted by a founder who marks up your draft line by line at 2am. These are working documents to you, not history class.
• Above roughly 85% of this market before a single bonus.
• $1,000 cash every time a control you wrote beats the current control on cost per purchase at real spend, held 14 days. 5,000 cash for a super winner. Work goes live in days, not quarters. It's the first seat in a creative department that doesn't exist yet.
• 2 winning controls → Senior Copywriter
• Two quarters running the roadmap with CAC flat or down at higher spend → Creative Strategist, $150,000, owning the research, the roadmap, the briefs and a freelance bench

I need the person who ends up owning creative, and I'd rather grow them than rent them.

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We pay for the training. Courses, programs, books, whatever sharpens the blade. Two hours a week on the clock for swipe and study, because reading great copy is the cheapest R&D there is and I'd rather you did it on my time than at midnight on your own.

That's the fastest training there is and it's free.

Here's a real line from our survey, a 72 year old woman: "I'm a GREAT catch, and men aren't seeing that.